Our Guided Journey

I'm not quite sure where to start..

So after we were told No, because my previa was complete..we went to work, not wanting to accept No for an answer. I started talking to Denver, but felt uneasy. I didn't like that they did it different than the leading hospitals, I didn't like that as much as I wanted the surgery, I didn't like the risks that doing it with the previa there, opened up. So we prayed..we knew that we needed a miracle. And we know that through our faith, and according to the will of our Heavenly Father..He can work miracles. Through Priesthood Blessings and through the prayers of everyone praying for us and through our prayers..we received our miracle just in time. A week and a half after my ultrasound confirming I have complete Placenta Previa, I had another ultrasound confirming that it was gone. That it was 3.2 cm away from my cervix, and hadn't just budged a little..it moved completely out of the way, opening up the option to do this surgery.

 A miracle.

Every Doctor has told me that they've never seen it move in the time frame we needed.

I would be one in a million if it did.

And it did.

So after crying, and saying prayers of gratitude..we went to work calling San Francisco to move forward. Another roadblock was brought up to test our faith: "Your insurance won't budge with us, and our rules are that it needs to be paid for upfront before the surgery is performed." Definitely not an option.  But luckily the lady there is amazing and suggested we call other hospitals because SF is one of the most expensive due to cost of living there. So we did, and we were once again guided to where we needed to go. Vanderbilt Children's Hospital in Nashville, TN is cheaper, they're one of the top 3 best that started the surgery study and they will do the surgery before knowing what the insurance says. They have payment plans, and are so understanding and flexible. The lady immediately had me fax everything over, she looked them over and said, go get an amnio and you'll be set.

"Can you be here on Monday for an evaluation and we'll do the surgery on Tuesday?? "

This was on Tuesday. Today is Thursday, and the amnio was done on Tuesday, last of records were sent yesterday..flights are booked, plans are made to drop our kids off in Idaho to be with family while Chris and I go to Nashville.

The biggest lesson we've learned is to never stop. To have faith means to step forward, and keep stepping forward knowing you'll be guided in the direction you need to go.  And when it's meant to happen, things will be worked out to make them happen.

These past 2 weeks have been guided..there's no doubt about that. The way things fell into place on such a time crunch..the way appts were cancelled so I could be seen in time, the way people were kind and told us to call other places..the way nurses faxed things on time for us. And most of all, our miracle of having the previa moved. There's NO DOUBT in my mind, that this surgery is going make a huge difference for Camden. I know that. I may be terrified, never having had a surgery before... so I've never even been put out. But I KNOW that I am being guided, strengthened, and lead to do what's best for Camden. I'll be in the best hands possible with the best staff who has done this many times. It's all starting to set in, and I am scared..but I know it will be okay. I have faith..I know that Camden has angels watching over him..I have a husband who has been my rock, my support and who will be there holding my hand every step of the way and I have a Heavenly Father and Savior who are always there for me.

I feel an amazing connection with Camden and I feel his strength and I can't wait to have this all be over and hold him, and look into his eyes and thank him for choosing us. He's already changing us and will continue to help us become the people we need to be. I am so grateful for this opportunity, and for the lessons I've already learned. I'm grateful for the timing of it..for the way being Beachbody coaches has already helped get us to the point to where we CAN handle this. Where we do Dream, where we do Believe, and where we will Achieve. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually,  physically and financially, we have been prepared for this time in our lives. Thank you for the prayers and support on our behalf. We will never be able to express how much we have felt it, and how much it means to us. 

Now onto the next step of our guided journey....to be continued! 

Just Another Friday..

Have you ever had a moment in your life where everything changed? Like..you knew the rest of your life was going to be forever different??

I had never had this happen before. Except for moments like getting married and the delivery of my babies.

But this was different...

My day had gone like this...woke up, had breakfast as a family, a coach call with one of my coaches, and then I rushed off for my 20 week ultrasound and doctor appointment. My ultrasound was taking longer than normal, but I loved every minute of seeing that little boy. I waited for my Doctor appointment, but it was getting over an hour wait and I finally called Chris to come get me. This was my 4th, I knew that these monthly appointments lasted 10 minutes and I would be fine waiting another month...so I thought!
 So he picked me up and we went home. It was a beautiful day here in Vegas. We had the windows open and I was SOOO happy. It was just a great day, and I couldn't wait to be playing outside with my family. The day continued on and then around 5pm, my beautiful little family, my husband, my 5 year old daughter Addison, my 3 year old son Mason, and my 2 year old daughter McKinley and I were all on our way to the park. Addison had been asking to go disc golfing again and we thought that was a genius idea.

On the way to the park I listened to my messages on my phone and one of them was from my Doctor and he said this:
"Mindy, I'm sorry we missed you earlier, I'm so sorry about the wait. But I'm looking at your films here and there are some things we need to discuss and I need to have you referred to a specialist."

My heart sank.

Not knowing what anything was, my motherly instincts for this little boy came out and my mind was racing. We discussed what all the options could be while at the park, but there was no way I was present with my family..my mind was just spinning. I called him back and he told me the news:

"There's an opening in your son's spine at the very bottom which is a sign of Spina Bifida. There's also some dilation in his brain in 2 spots, he has club feet and you're showing signs of Placenta Previa."

Again..my heart dropped even lower. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what I was supposed to feel, or what I was supposed to do. I didn't know how this was caused, how a perfectly normal pregnancy, and my healthiest could all of sudden turn like that.

But through all of these thoughts, I simply told him. "okay..we can only move forward..this is something that is out of our control. I know there's a reason for this and Heavenly Father's WILL, will happen."

We set up the referral and over the next few days I researched what all these unknown terms were and I cried and cried like I never had before. Mainly over how I was going to go through all of this. How we were going to make this work with Chris's job, how he was supposed to take time off for the surgeries and how I was going to go from barely handling my own 3 kids right now, to taking care of 4, one of which will take extra special care. How I was going to keep working from home and and managing everything. I cried for our baby..I cried for the pain he would have to endure, the way he'll be taken right after delivery into surgery..how this wasn't how deliveries were supposed to happen!! I'm supposed to be excited about delivery, and over holding him close for hours after and being able to tell him everything is going to be okay!!

Everyone keeps telling me, everything is going to be okay!! I know that, but I don't know what okay is!!! I don't know if okay is that he'll come out and walk, with no brain damage or if he'll have extensive brain damage and not walk. I don't know if he'll be a rare percentage that are meant to have a short time on earth or not.
I don't know any of this. I DO know that whatever happens, it's going to be okay - I know that.

I just wish I knew the outcome now.
I wish I could take his pain away.
I wish that I had a crystal ball and could see the future.

But you know what??
Through this all, I have felt arms wrapped around me from my Savior and from my Father in Heaven. This is His child. He has entrusted this amazing little angel into our lives for a reason. To teach us. To strengthen us. And everything WILL be okay..because our Father in Heaven is the one in charge and that brings me more comfort than anything a Doctor will tell me. I know that we'll be guided, we'll be comforted to know what path to take with his care. I know that he will be born the way he is supposed to be to live out this special mission he has before him. I know that I am extremely blessed to have such a special spirit growing inside of me and that bond I feel with him is unlike anything I've felt before.

We are lucky.
We will be taken care of.
And even though I feel so inadequate, and I feel like I'm not grown up enough yet to even have 4 kids - that my weaknesses will be made up for. I do have faith. I have my moments where I feel strong, and I have my moments where I cry out for help. But I have faith and I believe in Eternal families and I believe in Heavenly Father knowing the start from the end with our lives. It's all going to be okay. I don't know how...but it will be.


Our little Angel

Dream It, Believe It, Achieve It

We all have goals, but are they goals or just wishes?? I've always had tons of wishes. I would cut magazine pictures and cover my walls with them when I was little. I would dream about who I wanted to be, but I absolutely did NOT believe I could do it. Those wishes were for other rich, talented and successful people. Well, after I got married and had kids right off, I really lost my identity. I became even more discouraged of where life was taking me and I felt lost and behind. When I finally decided to start my journey with Beachbody, I made a dreamboard. And it's currently the background on my computer, and I'm slowly checking things off the list. I am striving each day, to grow into the person that I need to be to fulfill my goals. It's not enough to just look at it, you have to WORK FOR IT!! 

 When obstacles come, and perhaps a certain dream didn't happen on the day that you had it happening..OH WELL!! It doesn't mean you quit. It is always TOO EARLY to quit. So get back to work, and just adjust the date, and REFUSE to not have a goal happen!! 

Those physical goals I have are not going to happen by me looking at a picture of a fit girl with a toned stomach and arms. As hard as it is for me to make the time each day, it's non-negotiable. We are all busy. I get so tired of that excuse. None of us are just sitting home on the couch all day. So sacrifice and MAKE time and SCHEDULE those 45 minutes into your day each day. It's as important as showering and getting dressed each day. You need that energy and those endorphins to be the happy, optimistic person that you are!! 

Don't get discourage by how far away those dreams may seem. Look back at how far you've come. I was so blessed that day in this picture, but I was crushed inside by how far away "the girl I wanted to be" was. I dreaded pictures, I dreaded seeing people. I felt so stuck.
Never give up!! Try a little harder each day and keep your eye on the prize. It will come!!